“Ragrets,” “Regerts,” and Rolodexes

“Ragrets,” “Regerts,” and Rolodexes

So you’re homeless sort of…  if we hadn’t raised you so we’ll I would be more nervous for you. But I’m not. I know you’re going to do just fine, and you’ll also be fine flying by the seat of your pants, much like you did when the Korean Army gave you a lift home.

Currently, I’m sitting in one of my favorite cafes in the city, which I call “Fern Café” (on account of all the ferns), reminiscing and looking ahead. This is perhaps my last time in this café and I’m thinking it’s been a long time since I’ve written a blog post. I had a lot of stuff to say before my family came to visit before Christmas, and then it became insanely busy in the last few months preparing for my China tour and moving out of my house.  While applying for my China visa, I hit an unexpected snag: when I was filling out the form, it asked for “home address.” What is my home now? I expect I’ll be answering that question for many years to come, but it never caused me such consternation. Were they looking for my home here in Korea, which (at the time) I was going to be quickly leaving, or my “permanent address” in the United States, which I haven’t been to in more than two years? Which feels more like home?

The months of January and February, during my time in Korea and before, have always been a mad clusterfuck to figure things out, whether they be future jobs, housing arrangements, visas, or travel plans. Naturally, there’s not much time for major trips, but I did manage to sneak in two separate trips to the Olympics (more on that in a separate post) and two major visits from friends and family, in addition to steadfastly checking things off the “to-do list.”

I’d intended to write up a whole thing about my parents’ visit and hyung Aidan’s visit in February, but I think it’s more useful to put them together and contrast the two different travel styles and two different trips. My parents came to visit during some of the coldest days of the winter. They also came from knowing absolutely nothing about South Korea and Seoul, the food, and the culture, so it was pretty much Korea 101 for them. They don’t normally use public transportation and are never in a place where they would not know the language. The best way to travel, according to my parents (which I don’t think is wrong, just different from my own), is to book a long, guided bus tour through a travel agency. Everything is taken care of and carefully planned for you, and all you have to do is pack your bag and get on a plane.

For this trip, I was essentially my parents’ and younger brother’s tour guide. I tried my best to prepare them before they arrived, as well as guide them through the food, cafes, and most important sites, despite having to work some of the days and many of the places being closed due to holidays. In addition, my brother and dad were at different times really sick due to stomach bugs (I think, not due to food poisoning), so we had to navigate that as well. Nonetheless, we squeezed in a trip to the DMZ in the rain, two cooking classes, a city and palaces tour, a visit to the Arario Museum, jjimjilbang, noraebang, and some shopping. My life here revolves around walking a lot and taking the subway, but my parents were more than content to take a taxi whenever it got dark. (My brother was more daring, but only a little). The experience was pretty extraordinary for me because my parents encouraged me to think of things I normally couldn’t afford/ wouldn’t splurge on, and we would do those. In this way, we had a wonderful salmon and yukhoe (raw beef) dinner near my house that we had been meaning to try. My mom loved all the things that were cooked right at our table, watching the do-it-yourself aspect very closely. My dad seemed to enjoy the historical and economical aspects. My brother, who is just months from turning 21 in the States, was just excited to drink a beer with every meal. In a way, it’s probably fortunate for him that he didn’t come by himself because we both would have drunk ourselves to death.

In comparison, Aidan had already been to South Korea once before, on that ill-fated trip when I had first arrived here. Getting all of the big palace-things out of the way, and him crashing in my house, enabled us to have a more relaxing and chilled-out hang session. His guidelines were nothing more than “just do whatever is still on your list that you haven’t checked off yet.” As such, I took him to that huge library at the COEX mall, the StyleNanda Pink Pool Café, the Coffee Prince Café, on a hike in Cheonggyesan, and to Insadong. Somehow we also squeezed in a trip to the Olympics. This visit was much more gritty and grungy than my parents’, but I think it was more representative of how I actually live here. Aidan was perfectly content to just wander around and get lost all day in Hongdae while I worked, and if I told him to meet me somewhere at a subway station, he followed the instructions well enough to actually get there.

That being said, of the two travelling styles, while there might be one that I prefer over the other, they’re both good. The other day, I was talking with my friends Matt and Steph when we were talking about “rating” your travel style. Let’s say, 1 is the poshest most luxurious kind of traveler, who needs all of their hotels, meals, and activities planned for them before they go. 1 is the person who would book the cruise or bus tour that has all the activities planned for you. In contrast, 10 is the most grungy, low-maintenance, “let’s wing it” kind of traveler. Our friend Zach is like this, just arrive in a place and figure it out as he goes. My rating? Somewhere around 6 or 7. I like to have, say, my sleeping accommodations sorted, so I know which city I’ll be in each day, but everything else can be figured out along the way. 8-hour bus ride from town to town? I don’t mind that. Asking the hotel for recommendations or bookings? That’s good too. Memorizing the Chinese characters for that day’s destinations and getting by with minimal Chinese language skills? I can do that too. I’ve grown tremendously both as a traveler and a human while I’ve been here.

It’s been a good run. I’ve learnt and grown so much I feel like I might be nearly unrecognizable when I return. In some ways, I’m ready to leave. I love teaching in some ways, but I don’t love the Korean education system. The focus on memorization over understanding is something that I will never appreciate or like, and I don’t think it’s a great way to learn a language. I’ve never been much of a disciplinarian, except in swim coaching, where even the punishment of pushups, wall-sits, or squats still makes you stronger. You can’t do that in school, and in this last year’s school nothing seemed to motivate the kids to want to do anything. I don’t think teaching is really my calling, so the end of this contract came at a good time. In addition, I never truly intended to stay forever. It would have been hard to leave whether I’d been here for only 4 months’ study abroad or whether I’d been here for 3, or 5, or 10 years. I expected to have some breaking-point moment where I would be like “Fuck this! I can’t take it anymore! I have to leave Korea immediately!” but it never came. No going out with a bang. In the same way, I feel like I’ve done so much, that there’s really not anything I will regret not having done. I’ve “seen it all,” pretty much.

I do have some regrets, though. None of them are about things to see or do, all of them are about leaving friends behind. Once you leave your parents’ house the first time, most of your waking hours revolve around your “chosen family,” your friends. I put down so many ties here without realizing it that I will be really sad to miss all of them when I go. That’s the thing about being an expat, and why a lot of expats report that it’s really hard to make friends here in South Korea (and abroad in general, despite it being otherwise really rewarding); you need those friends to help you make it through your time here, but you will always, always have to leave them or they will have to leave you. Nobody is going to be with you forever, despite how many promises you make to visit them in Cape Town or Derry or Seattle.

My nana was well-known for being so adept at keeping in touch with her friends from high school and beyond. For decades and decades, she steadfastly exchanged letters and emails and phone numbers, updating the Rolodex each time a friend changed their address or got married or eventually passed away. I want to channel some of that ability. It’s easier than ever now with social media and internet, there’s almost no excuse. When asked about my regrets, it’s leaving behind my Geoje squad, my Canadian “parents” Matt and Steph, old coworker Jenn, brunch buddy Kevin, old man friend Gwan, and my old co-teacher Miss Tiffany. After I leave, my memory of them will be retained like a snapshot frozen in place, but in reality, many of them will quickly be scattered to the four winds. Like friends from college, you yearn for that time when everyone is still together, easily accessible, when really it was only a short time that everybody was all in one place. People leave and people change, but it’s up to the friends to keep that contact alive and keep talking. Anyway. I’m kind of a mess of emotion right now, but I would be basically nowhere without my chosen family.

 

A toast, to the families who get you through the week.

Advertisements

Homeworld 2

Homeworld 2

2: Seoul – what is home

Georgia, after graduating the University of Pittsburgh in 2015, is nearing the end of her second year of teaching English in Seoul, South Korea. Besides teaching, she has kept busy this year, traveling to Vietnam, Taiwan, and around Korea, as well as taking a rigorous Korean language course at the Seoul-based Yonsei University over the summer. We were happy to have her back at Myrtle Beach for our annual vacation this year, although the jet lag can’t have been easy. This year for Christmas, we are excited to fly over to spend time with her in Seoul and have her show us her world. As for next year, she is not quite sure where the winds will take her. A trip to China after she finishes her contract is in the works, after which she will return to America, hopefully “for good.”

A week or so back, I wrote the previous paragraph for our family’s annual Christmas letter. How do you condense a whole year into a few sentences? How do you convey the utter vastness of a year’s worth of experiences in a foreign country (or several), but also convey the utter normalcy of everything? How do you put things that are so wildly different from home into terms that even my grandmother could understand? The last post was concerned with what was home. This one is focused on what is home.

My family will arrive here in Seoul in about 10 days. How do you even cram all of those experiences, all the “‘essentials,”” into a week and a half?

Image result for seoul map

My friends asked me if I will take my family outside of Seoul, and I rationalized against it (plus, although I don’t work for long each day, I still don’t have a proper “”vacation”” during that time, so we wouldn’t be able to go far.) I think that, even though it’s one of the largest cities in the world, Seoul is a pretty accurate microcosm for Korea as a whole. What will you do when they’re here, the next question always comes. Foods, drinks, palaces. Noraebang, jjimjilbang. Hikes, if we can manage it. Trying to give a sense how Seoul has both the ancient and modern coexisting right next to one another, nature and high-rises competing for space within the city, and tradition and innovation in the cultural sphere.

What follows is a Cliff Notes version of what to do in Seoul, curated by me, of course.

Food

I think food is central to Korean life for all, foreigners and Seoulites alike. It’s unique in that everybody has to choose together what they want to eat, rather than agreeing on a general restaurant and all ordering separate dishes. Most of my days are planned around what’s for dinner.

Image result for samgyeopsal

Samgyeopsal – It’s well-documented (as I mention it in almost every blog post here) that this grilled pork-belly dish is my favorite meal. It’s filling and fun to eat, and comes with enough vegetable side dishes and lettuce wraps to mostly cut through the grease of the pork. If your little lettuce wrap “burrito” bite is well-made, the combination of flavors is nothing short of perfection.

Image result for 닭갈비

Duk Galbi (닭갈비) – This spicy mixed chicken dish is wonderfully filling, often cheesy, and all of the friends can eat their fill without necessarily feeling like dying at the end of the meal.

Image result for 연어무한리필

Salmon – Technically salmon sashimi, my friends and I are kind of addicted to salmon, especially the “infinite refill” (all you can eat) variety. Usually the salmon comes with tasty sides of mixed rice, beef soup, or raw beef called yuk-hoe.

Image result for bulgogi

Bulgogi – While this Korean “fire meat” (the literal translation) is gaining popularity, or at least visibility, in the West, I’ve found that I never really liked it much until coming here. There’s a place in my neighborhood that does a wonderfully simple version – just beef, green onion, mushrooms, and japchae glass noodles – that is perfectly filling and definitely worth scalding the roof of your mouth for.

Image result for 김밥천국

Kimbap restaurant – These restaurants, described to me as the “McDonald’s of Korean food” when I first got here, serve so much more than just kimbap, the Korean answer to sushi. In fact, I find them closest to an American-style diner: open 24/7 and serving a wide range of food from snacks to full meals. This is the best place to try a “little bit of everything” without making the commitment of going to a dedicated restaurant for each dish.

Image result for 부대찌개

Budaejjigae – This Korean “army stew” came out of frugality during war times, originally: the American soldiers stationed in Korea would give their extra food, like packets of ramen, Spam, and hot dogs to the Korean citizens, who would then whip it up into a filling and flavorful stew with kimchi, rice cakes, tofu, and whatever veggies they wanted. Everyone tends to favor different parts of the stew, so there’s usually little fighting over who gets the spam or hot dogs.

Image result for samgyetang

Samgyetang – A dish traditionally eaten during the summer, this whole chicken, ginseng root, and jujube soup is supposed to be very good for your health. Even though it’s supposed to only be around in the summer, the dish most closely resembles American chicken noodle soup, making it good for winter, too.

Image result for 만두

Mandu – It might not be my favorite food, but there’s no denying that the traditional Korean-style dumpling, often filled with cabbage, noodles, and meat and veggies, is one that is important to everyone’s daily life here.

Image result for ddeokbokki

Ddeokbokki – These rice cake dumplings in a spicy sauce can be at times a wonderful side-dish to your meal, a cheeky drunk food on the street, or a meal by themselves. My first week here, without even any chopsticks to eat with, I got a ddeokbokki from the stall near my house and took it home to eat sitting on the floor.

Image result for hoddeok

Hoddeok – These brown sugar and nut-filled pancakes are the most delicious dessert you can crave in the winter here in Korea. I know that there are also savory varieties, but the sweet one is the only one I go for. However, the scalding brown sugar dripping from the pancake can turn into a deadly weapon if you’re not careful.

 

Drinks

Equally important to life here is drinking, maybe even more important. Almost every person here at any given time will either have a coffee, tea, or alcohol in their hand.

Image result for seoul cafes

Cafes – My love of Korean cafes is also well-documented. Before I came here, I made a resolution to try at least one new cafe a week. The real average is probably closer to 1.5 or 2 new cafes a week. There’s a cafe for all tastes, whether you crave a quiet place to camp out and study, a pretty dessert for your instagram, or a kitchy environment that captivates your interest.

Image result for makgeolli

Makgeolli – Many people abroad know what soju is by now, but really, Korean rice wine makgeolli is my jam. A traditional drink after hiking or when it’s raining, it’s a hard sell for some. It’s tangy like a soda but a bit milky like a yogurt, usually drunk from a bowl, and makes for a perfect accompaniment to pajeon, the green onion pancake. After trying all different kinds, I can say with absolute confidence that I prefer makgeolli to soju.

Image result for soju

Soju – There’s no denying soju‘s reign as the most popular alcohol in the whole world. How else could you get completely trashed off of $4 USD’s worth of alcohol? That it comes in different flavors (my favorite is the “toucan soju”), certainly makes it more palatable to many more foreigners. The unflavored kind pairs well with beer, cider, and other things.

Image result for 소맥

Beer & other things – That Gordon Ramsay endorsed Cass beer was an unfortunate debate topic for a few weeks, but it makes sense: you need a smooth, relatively flavorless beer (water-like, almost) to wash down the strong and spicy flavors you’re consuming. Everybody here, Korean and foreign alike, has their favorite “mix”: somaek, the most common soju and beer mix, soju-cider-beer mix, soju-beer-cola mix, or even soju mixed with the yogurt drink that they give to children. (My favorite is soju, cider, and beer in equal measures).

Traditional Seoul

Some things haven’t changed much in decades. You get the sense that the same noraebangs and jjimjilbangs have stuck around for years and years, the old tried-and-true standbys of Korean life.

Image result for noraebang

Noraebang – Again, my love for noraebang is no secret. The singing room is a cheap and fun way to while away an hour or two while waiting for the train to start up, or keep the party going when everybody’s a little too drunk to keep dancing but doesn’t want to go home yet. Most people sneak their own drinks or snacks in, and the theatricality of the lights and secluded room really call to me. (It’s also been suggested to me that I only like the sound of my own voice, which.. no comment). You better bet I’m going to spend this New Year’s the same way as last year, singing in a noraebang and drinking toucan soju.

Image result for jjimjilbang

Jjimjilbang – The Korean-style bathhouse was unlike the Japanese-style I knew about previously. You get a little gym uniform and some towels and go into salt-, charcoal-, or crystal-bedecked heated rooms to sweat out your impurities. You can rest from the heat in the cold room or in the middle room, where many people take a snooze, read magazines, or eat hard-boiled eggs. When you can’t take the heat anymore, you go into the bath area and scrub off all your skin at least three times with a rough cloth, then dip into the baths. Lots of foreigners are weirded out by the nudity (even though it’s segregated by gender), but as a swimmer I don’t find it that weird. At the end you truly feel like you’ve got baby skin, and it’s quite the treat in the winter.

Image result for hike korea

Hiking – “What, you like hiking? I never noticed,” said nobody, ever. I think that the hiking culture is one of the best representatives of Korean culture as a whole. The healthy practice of hiking mixed with the unhealthiness of drinking at the top of the mountain, generosity with individualism, the tradition of monks and priests walking into the hills to meditate balanced with the modernity of taking all the selfies at the top. Everyone says “hi,” in a mixture of Korean and English, and wants to help you get where you’re going. Young kids hiking with their parents, couples, and old people all coexist happily on the mountain. (We will probably not get to go hiking because it will probably be too cold in a few weeks’ time.)

Image result for changdeokgung palace

Palaces – Seoul’s palaces are a well-known fount of history knowledge for foreigners and Koreans alike. Although there are many palaces in Seoul, two very close to one another are my top picks. While I think that most foreigners know about Gyeongbokgung, the main royal palace, I argue that Changdeokgung is the best palace to visit in Seoul, as it is larger and more well-preserved (and also a UNESCO World Heritage site).

Modern Seoul

Sitting right alongside the many centuries of strong tradition are the modern high-rise skyscrapers and other amenities of city living. Arguably the best transportation system in the world gets millions of Seoulites from place to place every day and anything you can ever want is available at the touch of a button.

Image result for korean arcade shopping mall

Malls – Boy, do Koreans like to shop. Clothes, electronics, homewares, everything. While there are lots of malls in the recognizable Western sense, many more are underground in subway stations or under other buildings.

Image result for library at coex mall

Libraries – Speaking of shopping malls, there’s a huge library inside of a mall in Jamsil area. I haven’t gotten to go yet, but I’m eager to take my family, all avid readers, to see what all the fuss is about.

Image result for lotte world tower

Lotte World Tower – The new tallest building in Korea, this tower, well, towers over the Seoul skyline. They were just building it when I got here, and now you can ride up to the top to get a view of all of Seoul (although in my opinion, the view from the top of a mountain is better, and more well-earned). I use this building as a weather gauge each day when on my commute to work: if I can see the tower from the river, the smog isn’t too bad, if it’s obscured, the air quality is pretty bad (and certainly should not run in that weather).

Image result for namsan tower

Namsan Tower – The former most famous tower in Seoul, Namsan tower is a common place for young couples to go and put a “love lock” up on the fence. You can hike up the mountain (not recommended, but that’s what I did, and on the way I met an opera-singing Italian man who was part of an international biking team), take a cable car, or bus to nearly the top. It may be a little overrated, but it’s still a cute way to see your Seoul vista if you don’t want to hike.

Image result for movie theaters in korea

Movie Theaters – Movies are something else here in Korea. While it’s a common and almost mundane part of American life, movies here retain their special-ness. You can see a 4D movie that rocks and shakes your seat or get a set that includes beer, coffee, or dried squid. I’m excited that we might see the new Star Wars soon on the big screen.

Museums

My family is also a big museum-going family, so besides some palaces, no trip would be complete without at least a little bit of outright “”educational”” experience.

Image result for dmz tour

DMZ tour – Not for lack of desire, but rather all of my friends are either Americans who had already done the tour before, or non-American citizens who don’t care much to be so close to the North Korean border. It seems almost a rite of passage for many Americans who visit Korea to go on a tour like this.

Image result for arario museum in space

Arario Museum – Located between Gyeongbokgung and Changdeokgung Palaces, I found this modern art museum quite by accident. It’s in the most unique building, and the maze of exhibition rooms are fascinating. It combines a modern glass building with traditional Korean hanok-style building and a 1970s office building with art pieces that really make you think. I’ve been twice already and can’t wait to go back. After you’re done with the art spaces, you can catch a coffee, dessert, and an art magazine in the museum cafe, which has a great view of the busy city life outside.

Neighborhoods

It’s hard to describe Seoul like other cities (like, say, Rome), where you have a checklist of things to see that are clearly defined. For me, Seoul is more a collection of unique neighborhoods to be strolled through at your own leisure. Each area has its own specialties and its own history, its own flavor. I usually go to different areas for different purposes, but find other reasons to stay.

Image result for hongdae street

Hongdae/ Sangsu – My current home neighborhood is a young university-age area dripping with cafes and cute boutiques. I find it hard to go other places when everything I need and all of my favorite bars and restaurants are now within walking distance of my house. Hongdae is a hopping nightlife area whereas Sangsu is more of the quiet restaurant area.

Image result for samcheongdong

Insadong, Bukchon, Samcheong-dong, Gyeongbokgung – There’s a long walk that I like to do through all of these neighborhoods, and in it, you can take in the traditional arts-and-crafts street of Insadong, the boutiques and street food of hanok-lined alleyways in Bukchon, or the high-end shops of Samcheong-dong all in one walk. I could never give directions on this walk, but some of the best restaurants I’ve discovered in Seoul have been found on these walks.

Image result for gangnam

Gangnam – I roll my eyes, but no trip to Seoul would be complete without taking in Gangnam’s high-rises and bright lights, and yes, even the “Gangnam Style” sign that put South Korea on the map for most Americans. Gangnam may be expensive and crowded but it is quintessential modern Korea.

Image result for wolfhound pub itaewon seoul

Itaewon, Noksapyeong, HBC – The cornerstone for most foreigners in Korea is Itaewon. I have spent many a weekend drinking there, and many of the best restaurants I know of are in this area. My favorite cafe in all of Seoul is located in the quieter hillside area of Noksapyeong, and some really excellent restaurants line the quiet “kimchi pot” street of Haebangchon, usually known as HBC. Nestled right next to the U.S. army base, many foreigners work and play in this area, which makes it comforting in some ways and more dangerous in others.

Image result for ddp seoul

DDP/ Cheonggyecheon – The Dongdaemun Design Plaza (DDP) is such an amazing sight, hovering like a spaceship in north central Seoul. Housing exhibition spaces, special events, and a design “market,” DDP is a celebration of modern creative thought. Within spitting distance of DDP are many Korean-style shopping malls (cheap clothes, no changing rooms), boutiques, movie theaters, and the Cheonggyecheon stream, which I first heard about when my urban planning-major friend, Earl, did a project on the excavation of the stream from underground and its elevation into a public park. At present, there will be a Christmas light festival going on which we will visit.

Image result for myeongdong

Myeongdong – Quite frankly, Myeongdong stresses me out a lot, but it is the most typical and famous shopping street in Seoul. Geared towards mainly foreigners, the shops are always blaring k-pop songs and trying to get you to come in. The street food stalls are wonderful here and it’s always busy and bustling. The most famous church for foreigners is also located here, but it’s a bit hard to find if you don’t know what you’re looking for.

Well. That concludes the Cliff-Notes. I’m not sure if it was short or concise at all, but it’s hard to keep in my enthusiasm sometimes.

 

A toast, to introducing new people to old things that you love.

 

if you’re determined, nothing can stop you

if you’re determined, nothing can stop you

“Why is it,” he said, one time, at the subway entrance, “I feel I’ve known you so many years?”
“Because I like you,” she said, “and I don’t want anything from you.”

This post comes woefully late, but a lot of things have happened in between the events of the post and its actual writing. I’ve been on trips, gotten a tinder and met several people because of it, gotten two tattoos, graded a million papers and written report cards, and weathered many holidays and special days, and survived the dismissal of another new teacher. It’s been a wild ride.

So, even before I actually arrived on Korean soil I was already inviting friends and family to come visit me. Now Aidan hyung was the only one to follow up on this so far. But faithful friend Becca soon made plans to visit in early August. I initially thought that it might be around summer break, which was at first cool and then horrifying because I thought that it would be during the summer break and I would have to postpone my Japan trip to meet her. Turns out the time was early September instead, so no conflicts.

However, as time to plan came closer, I discovered that not only would Becca only be here for weekdays (of which I have such long hours that I could barely do my proper job as tour guide), but it would also come at the most stressful time to date of our school year, the changing of the semester.  During this time, a lot of the old coworkers left and a lot of new coworkers were coming in.  We also had changing schedules and books and report cards to hand in.  It was a huge mess.  So I was a nervous wreck, despite all my planning, that Becca would arrive and have to cool her jets for many hours while I languished at work.  I had arranged for Becca to get her tattoo (she likes to collect tattoos from every country she visits, even after she’d just freshly gotten one in Cambodia the week before) during the afternoon so that I could meet her directly after in that neighborhood.  I had told her that I would pick her up on my break and shepherd her to my house so she could put her huge backpacking pack in my house and I could give her the key and explain where to go.  I even bought a few samgak kimbaps for her lunch.

That Tuesday came and everything seemed to be going wrong.  It was our head teacher Amanda’s last day at the school and everything was in shambles.  The schedule had just changed that week, so the break that I had counted upon did not come at the right time and I was afraid she would have to wait in the train station and all my plans would be wasted.  I became a nervous wreck in the office, so much so that the other coworkers literally told me to just not worry about Becca and just have confidence in her.  But I reasoned: “I’ve made all these p l a n s and they can’t go to w a s t e” and was very stressed instead.  Becca’s wifi refused to work and I could not remember how long the train from the airport took or anything.  At lunch break, I strapped on my running shoes and sprinted to the station.  I was terrified that I would a) miss Becca and have to leave or b) get to meet Becca but be late back to school and get in trouble.  I watched the minutes tick by.  There is no free wifi for the Becca-type of travelers in the Seoul National University station.  I agonized over being late back to school

I’m happy to report that that didn’t happen.

Becca arrived in the train station safely, looking radiant and relieved.  I shepherded her to my apartment, explained where she was going, provided her with the tattoo design I’d drawn up previously and some lunch, and then I had to dash back to the school.  I was precisely on time.  Becca left at the correct time for her appointment, and the meeting with the artist was set up with military-like precision like a spy operation.  (Tattoos are technically illegal in South Korea, but more on that, I think, in a later post)  I met her at the end of the day when she had just finished up with the tattoo appointment, and from there we headed for samgyeopsal, which it shouldn’t need to be mentioned is my favorite meal in the entire country.  Becca asked for a “traditional Korean dessert,” and even though a lot of Koreans really do like Baskin Robbins, we managed to find a really good bingsu (shaved ice) place in Hongdae in amongst the night shopping and partiers.

What I learned from Tuesday with Becca?  Trust in your friends.  Trust in the process.  Trust in the universe.  For all your planning, everything will go exactly not as you intended, but as it is meant to go.

My bed is a tight fit but I’m pretty small so we managed just fine.  Wednesday was tall coworker Zach’s last day and there were lots of shenanigans.  I was much happier this day because Becca was safely in Seoul and could start to find her way around.  I had planned for her to go to the palaces on this day, but as it rained that day, that ended up not working out.  I suggested instead that she go to Dongdaemun for shopping and to see the DDP (Dongdaemun Design Plaza).  All I could really do when I left was tell her the subway stops, give her an umbrella, and send her on her way.

I was sad myself when she asked where to get “authentic Korean breakfast” and I had to explain that breakfast is literally just the same food Koreans eat for every other meal, just eaten in the morning.

When I returned in the evening to discover that Becca only just barely made it to the DDP, and only because somebody who she met in a cafe that afternooon told her to go there, I was initially pissed but then cooled off.  I gave vague directions at best and a real Seoul native could instruct her better than me, right?  Every night I would ask if Becca had a fun day and she never said “no,” so I’m glad.  Basically, Becca is a pro traveler and is really talented at discovering the cool things to do in any given part of town, despite the lack of a guidebook or computer to research.

We had to stop at tall co-worker Zach’s apartment because he had stuff he was giving to me.  He had to take a plane out the next morning, bound for Hong Kong.  I really had intended for Becca to meet all the coworkers, but it turns out that I couldn’t really interest anybody in doing the planned things that week, so we ended up not meeting anybody really.

For dinner we had the actual most-loved Korean meal of all time: chimaek, or chicken and beer.  Becca’s got some mad dietary restrictions on her these days, and I find that I would be so worried about whether she could eat this or that that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy things properly.  Becca had no such qualms, despite not being able to eat spicy foods or drink too much, seemingly Korea’s two favorite pasttimes..  Basically, it was all an attitude thing, so if you let your dietary hangups get in your way of having a good time, they definitely will, but if you’re determined to have a good time, nothing can stop you.

We went to the Han River with a beer or so in hand and had a chat.  It was nice to watch the city lights go by and catch up.

Thursday I had so many well-laid plans, but those always go so well.  I thought this was the day that Becca should go see the Gyeongbokgung Palace.  I think she got to, but I can’t remember.  My instructions to go out the Gwanghwamun Gwangjang stop on the purple line, following all of the travellers, were pretty explicitly clear, for once.  After that I had intended for her to head over to Insadong, which I also left pretty clear instructions for, but all the best-laid plans can go to shit.  And it’s so, so easy to get distracted in Seoul.  Somewhere along the way, she got hungry and, I believe, got some sort of yukgyejang, which is a spicy beef soup.  Sometimes the close-your-eyes-and-point method works well, other times it shoots you in the foot.  She said it was good, though.  You have to be pretty open-minded when eating in another country.

For dinner tonight something quite strange happened.  Becca’s dad is pretty high-up in the medical field, so he has connections all over the world.  Turns out he had a friend in Seoul, and he wanted us to meet that friend.  Said friend was also bringing his son.  I was under explicit instructions not to woo said son.

Becca’s dad’s friend ended up not coming for dinner in Ichon, but his son, Kevin, ended up being perfectly nice dinner company.  I think it may have been hard to balance talking to Becca about her experience in Seoul or about their dads’ work or the medical field and talking to me, a lowly teacher who can speak some Korean.  I’m not sure who would have been more interesting, but he balanced it with grace.  You know what I did not do with grace?  Eating haemul pajeon, the green onion pancakes with squid or octopus in it.  Ew.  Especially difficult with chopsticks.  We did manage to polish off a bottle of makgeolli between all of us, even though Becca did not drink much and Kevin didn’t drink at all.  By which I mean that I drank about 2/3 of the makgeolli.  It’s fine.  After dinner, we went for coffee and Becca’s dad’s friend did meet us.  He was nice and it was really nice meeting a fatherly-type older gentleman here.  It’s too often you see the rude ahjusshis and forget that they are fathers and grandfathers, too.  It’s important not to forget about connections like that.  You never know when your son or daughter might be travelling around the world and be able to meet your colleague for a dinner.

There have been so many mornings of a Friday where I have seen the ahjummas gathering in their full-on hiking garb in the subway station and I wish that I could join them.  So I sent Becca to Gwanak mountain.  It’s so far been my favorite mountain that I’ve hiked in Korea.  I was quite jealous that she got to go and I didn’t.  That day, she found the bus stop like I instructed, followed the students and people in hiking gear right up to the base of the mountain.  She was adopted by some ahjusshi on the mountain who showed her the way to the summit and got bibimbap and makgeolli for her when they reached the bottom again.  Becca is a far more adept traveller than me, but she ends up having really cool experiences because of it.

Even though Kevin spent basically the whole night before telling us how busy he was with med school studies, he somehow agreed to go out with us, both when we went to Kodachaya in Hongdae, where we got really spicy kimchi fried rice that Becca could barely touch, later when we went to my friend MJ’s bar, and even later when we went for noraebang.  It wasn’t the long and crazy night I had promised, but it was enough.  Kevin rapped Beenzino and I was so impressed.  I’m glad he took the night out of studying to come and join us for a night out on the town.

Saturday morning was the departure date.  We had to get all the stuff back into Becca’s bag after everything had been strewn about my floor and caught a coffee and bagel at a nearby shop.  It was sad to see her go and my anxiety is such that even despite profuse assurances that she had a fun time, I still worry.  I’ll probably always have these worries.  But again, this is the kind of travelling that is just kind of go-with-the-flow and entirely attitude-dependent.  Becca is the sort to make a good time out of any situation and I wish I could adopt that attitude.

A toast to old friends in new places.