“Why is it,” he said, one time, at the subway entrance, “I feel I’ve known you so many years?”
“Because I like you,” she said, “and I don’t want anything from you.”
This post comes woefully late, but a lot of things have happened in between the events of the post and its actual writing. I’ve been on trips, gotten a tinder and met several people because of it, gotten two tattoos, graded a million papers and written report cards, and weathered many holidays and special days, and survived the dismissal of another new teacher. It’s been a wild ride.
So, even before I actually arrived on Korean soil I was already inviting friends and family to come visit me. Now Aidan hyung was the only one to follow up on this so far. But faithful friend Becca soon made plans to visit in early August. I initially thought that it might be around summer break, which was at first cool and then horrifying because I thought that it would be during the summer break and I would have to postpone my Japan trip to meet her. Turns out the time was early September instead, so no conflicts.
However, as time to plan came closer, I discovered that not only would Becca only be here for weekdays (of which I have such long hours that I could barely do my proper job as tour guide), but it would also come at the most stressful time to date of our school year, the changing of the semester. During this time, a lot of the old coworkers left and a lot of new coworkers were coming in. We also had changing schedules and books and report cards to hand in. It was a huge mess. So I was a nervous wreck, despite all my planning, that Becca would arrive and have to cool her jets for many hours while I languished at work. I had arranged for Becca to get her tattoo (she likes to collect tattoos from every country she visits, even after she’d just freshly gotten one in Cambodia the week before) during the afternoon so that I could meet her directly after in that neighborhood. I had told her that I would pick her up on my break and shepherd her to my house so she could put her huge backpacking pack in my house and I could give her the key and explain where to go. I even bought a few samgak kimbaps for her lunch.
That Tuesday came and everything seemed to be going wrong. It was our head teacher Amanda’s last day at the school and everything was in shambles. The schedule had just changed that week, so the break that I had counted upon did not come at the right time and I was afraid she would have to wait in the train station and all my plans would be wasted. I became a nervous wreck in the office, so much so that the other coworkers literally told me to just not worry about Becca and just have confidence in her. But I reasoned: “I’ve made all these p l a n s and they can’t go to w a s t e” and was very stressed instead. Becca’s wifi refused to work and I could not remember how long the train from the airport took or anything. At lunch break, I strapped on my running shoes and sprinted to the station. I was terrified that I would a) miss Becca and have to leave or b) get to meet Becca but be late back to school and get in trouble. I watched the minutes tick by. There is no free wifi for the Becca-type of travelers in the Seoul National University station. I agonized over being late back to school
I’m happy to report that that didn’t happen.
Becca arrived in the train station safely, looking radiant and relieved. I shepherded her to my apartment, explained where she was going, provided her with the tattoo design I’d drawn up previously and some lunch, and then I had to dash back to the school. I was precisely on time. Becca left at the correct time for her appointment, and the meeting with the artist was set up with military-like precision like a spy operation. (Tattoos are technically illegal in South Korea, but more on that, I think, in a later post) I met her at the end of the day when she had just finished up with the tattoo appointment, and from there we headed for samgyeopsal, which it shouldn’t need to be mentioned is my favorite meal in the entire country. Becca asked for a “traditional Korean dessert,” and even though a lot of Koreans really do like Baskin Robbins, we managed to find a really good bingsu (shaved ice) place in Hongdae in amongst the night shopping and partiers.
What I learned from Tuesday with Becca? Trust in your friends. Trust in the process. Trust in the universe. For all your planning, everything will go exactly not as you intended, but as it is meant to go.
My bed is a tight fit but I’m pretty small so we managed just fine. Wednesday was tall coworker Zach’s last day and there were lots of shenanigans. I was much happier this day because Becca was safely in Seoul and could start to find her way around. I had planned for her to go to the palaces on this day, but as it rained that day, that ended up not working out. I suggested instead that she go to Dongdaemun for shopping and to see the DDP (Dongdaemun Design Plaza). All I could really do when I left was tell her the subway stops, give her an umbrella, and send her on her way.
I was sad myself when she asked where to get “authentic Korean breakfast” and I had to explain that breakfast is literally just the same food Koreans eat for every other meal, just eaten in the morning.
When I returned in the evening to discover that Becca only just barely made it to the DDP, and only because somebody who she met in a cafe that afternooon told her to go there, I was initially pissed but then cooled off. I gave vague directions at best and a real Seoul native could instruct her better than me, right? Every night I would ask if Becca had a fun day and she never said “no,” so I’m glad. Basically, Becca is a pro traveler and is really talented at discovering the cool things to do in any given part of town, despite the lack of a guidebook or computer to research.
We had to stop at tall co-worker Zach’s apartment because he had stuff he was giving to me. He had to take a plane out the next morning, bound for Hong Kong. I really had intended for Becca to meet all the coworkers, but it turns out that I couldn’t really interest anybody in doing the planned things that week, so we ended up not meeting anybody really.
For dinner we had the actual most-loved Korean meal of all time: chimaek, or chicken and beer. Becca’s got some mad dietary restrictions on her these days, and I find that I would be so worried about whether she could eat this or that that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy things properly. Becca had no such qualms, despite not being able to eat spicy foods or drink too much, seemingly Korea’s two favorite pasttimes.. Basically, it was all an attitude thing, so if you let your dietary hangups get in your way of having a good time, they definitely will, but if you’re determined to have a good time, nothing can stop you.
We went to the Han River with a beer or so in hand and had a chat. It was nice to watch the city lights go by and catch up.
Thursday I had so many well-laid plans, but those always go so well. I thought this was the day that Becca should go see the Gyeongbokgung Palace. I think she got to, but I can’t remember. My instructions to go out the Gwanghwamun Gwangjang stop on the purple line, following all of the travellers, were pretty explicitly clear, for once. After that I had intended for her to head over to Insadong, which I also left pretty clear instructions for, but all the best-laid plans can go to shit. And it’s so, so easy to get distracted in Seoul. Somewhere along the way, she got hungry and, I believe, got some sort of yukgyejang, which is a spicy beef soup. Sometimes the close-your-eyes-and-point method works well, other times it shoots you in the foot. She said it was good, though. You have to be pretty open-minded when eating in another country.
For dinner tonight something quite strange happened. Becca’s dad is pretty high-up in the medical field, so he has connections all over the world. Turns out he had a friend in Seoul, and he wanted us to meet that friend. Said friend was also bringing his son. I was under explicit instructions not to woo said son.
Becca’s dad’s friend ended up not coming for dinner in Ichon, but his son, Kevin, ended up being perfectly nice dinner company. I think it may have been hard to balance talking to Becca about her experience in Seoul or about their dads’ work or the medical field and talking to me, a lowly teacher who can speak some Korean. I’m not sure who would have been more interesting, but he balanced it with grace. You know what I did not do with grace? Eating haemul pajeon, the green onion pancakes with squid or octopus in it. Ew. Especially difficult with chopsticks. We did manage to polish off a bottle of makgeolli between all of us, even though Becca did not drink much and Kevin didn’t drink at all. By which I mean that I drank about 2/3 of the makgeolli. It’s fine. After dinner, we went for coffee and Becca’s dad’s friend did meet us. He was nice and it was really nice meeting a fatherly-type older gentleman here. It’s too often you see the rude ahjusshis and forget that they are fathers and grandfathers, too. It’s important not to forget about connections like that. You never know when your son or daughter might be travelling around the world and be able to meet your colleague for a dinner.
There have been so many mornings of a Friday where I have seen the ahjummas gathering in their full-on hiking garb in the subway station and I wish that I could join them. So I sent Becca to Gwanak mountain. It’s so far been my favorite mountain that I’ve hiked in Korea. I was quite jealous that she got to go and I didn’t. That day, she found the bus stop like I instructed, followed the students and people in hiking gear right up to the base of the mountain. She was adopted by some ahjusshi on the mountain who showed her the way to the summit and got bibimbap and makgeolli for her when they reached the bottom again. Becca is a far more adept traveller than me, but she ends up having really cool experiences because of it.
Even though Kevin spent basically the whole night before telling us how busy he was with med school studies, he somehow agreed to go out with us, both when we went to Kodachaya in Hongdae, where we got really spicy kimchi fried rice that Becca could barely touch, later when we went to my friend MJ’s bar, and even later when we went for noraebang. It wasn’t the long and crazy night I had promised, but it was enough. Kevin rapped Beenzino and I was so impressed. I’m glad he took the night out of studying to come and join us for a night out on the town.
Saturday morning was the departure date. We had to get all the stuff back into Becca’s bag after everything had been strewn about my floor and caught a coffee and bagel at a nearby shop. It was sad to see her go and my anxiety is such that even despite profuse assurances that she had a fun time, I still worry. I’ll probably always have these worries. But again, this is the kind of travelling that is just kind of go-with-the-flow and entirely attitude-dependent. Becca is the sort to make a good time out of any situation and I wish I could adopt that attitude.
A toast to old friends in new places.
Design work in Bukchon, followed by eating a whole medium pizza, only a small by American standards tho.. 🍕🍕🍕 pic.twitter.com/d0mURfnWur
— Georgina DiMarché (@bibimbetch) August 21, 2016
I’m such a nice mom I’ve got triangle kimbap, can coffee, aloe juice, and Tim Tams for Becca’s lunch tomorrow. Better than my own lunch prob
— Georgina DiMarché (@bibimbetch) August 29, 2016
Life is 1000% less stressful now that I’m done with grades, marking papers, and Becca is in-country properly. ❤️✈️👯 pic.twitter.com/07DmmJ94Jk
— Georgina DiMarché (@bibimbetch) August 30, 2016
A toast “to old friends in new places..” 💯👌🏾👯🍻 pic.twitter.com/BovcckBXoR
— Georgina DiMarché (@bibimbetch) August 31, 2016
— Georgina DiMarché (@bibimbetch) September 2, 2016